How to Wreck Your Marriage Part 2
Putting a bike together for your child can be an enormous feat (so I have heard). Most fathers think they can just figure it out without the use of instructions. However, this rarely works. Normally, the instructions are consulted out of frustration brought on by repeated failure. As Christians, we need to go to God’s Word as our instruction manual. It is there that we can figure out what God’s answers are for the questions: Who instituted marriage? What is marriage? And what is the reason for marriage?
Genesis reads, “And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (2:18, NKJV). What God does is bring to Adam the different kinds of animas and Adam names them. But out of all the animals there is not one that is a suitable mate. (Genesis 2:19-20).
I have had several occasions when I come home from being out only to find that I am the first one home. Sometimes it takes a moment before I realize that I am alone. What I believe God is doing here is bringing Adam to the realization that he is alone. God is showing Adam that there is not yet a suitable companion for him. God solves Adams problem:
Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
And Adam said:
“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed (Genesis 2:22-25).
Here we find the Christian answer. Who instituted marriage? Marriage was instated and designed by God. What is marriage? God made one woman for Adam. He did not make another man or anything of that nature. Marriage is one man for one woman. What is the reason for marriage? God saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone.
What is a Wrecked Marriage?
Before we can find out how people wreck their marriage, we need to ask, what is a wrecked marriage? We will find that there are differing degrees of the term “wrecked.” You may spot a significant dent in someone fender and ask what happened. That person will tell you that they got into a wreck. You also might find someone who completely totaled their car and also say that they were in a “wreck.”
Dr. Robert Morey gives several definitions of a wrecked marriage in his book, Encyclopedia of Practical Christianity.
Example 1: There are dead marriages. This marriage is “wrecked” although devoice may not have taken place. Some times these marriages are peaceful and sometimes there are filled with constantan battles.
Example 2: When separation, desertion, or divorce has taken place. This is a more extreme example of a wrecked marriage
Example 3: When one or both partners are involved with adultery. This can be either emotional or physical (Encyclopedia of Practical Christianity, Dr. Robert Morey, p. 309).
Now we finally get to our list of how to wreck a marriage:
1. Don’t put God first in your marriage. Instead of God, if you want to wreck your marriage, put yourself first. Look out for your own needs above the needs of your spouse or your responsibilities to God.
2. Belittle your spouse’s ideas and feelings. Use a lot of sarcasm and demeaning words.
3. Make a lot of comparisons. Compare your spouse to your mother or father. Let your spouse know about these comparisons. Say things like, “My mother use to do this for me,” or “My father never acted like that.”
4. Withhold sex as a form of punishment.
5. When your spouse raises a legitimate complete complain back and never apologize.
6. Use terms like always and never when you are complaining about your spouse’s actions. Say “you never…” or “you always…” In other words, when you are complaining over exaggerate.
7. Do a lot of negative mind reading. Assume the worst possible motives for your spouses every action. Of course, reserve any judgments of charity for yourself.
8. Display negative body language. Frown a lot. Refuse to smile. Roll your eyes. And make sure you do this when your spouse is talking to you about important things.
9. Threaten divorce as often as possible.
In giving instruction on how to wreck your marriage I am obviously being facetious. But in all honesty, these are the things I have seen people doing and the result is a wrecked marriage. In contrast, if you want to have a good marriage, then do the opposite of what is listed above